Episode 6 – Am I in Doo Dah?

Wow, it’s quarter past nine and I haven’t written today at all yet. My Lady, the Queen’s Mother and ElsaDaughter are watching Choccywaccadoodah. So am I. And I love it despite the intellectual snob in me. When I’m at home I get majorly dumbed down. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. If I were in my own place, I’d be watching Who Do You Think You Are? ElsaDaughter and I like documentaries. The only “light” entertainment we immerse ourselves in Modern Family and My Lady thinks that’s weird. I love it. I really love Cam. I’d bet Cam never has a down day. Or Phil. Claire I can’t stand because she micromanages and well, self-evaluation and all that.

I sweated off bucket loads of Dead Sea Salt Scrub last night: my stocks are coming along nicely. I need to get a PR machine in place to sell the stuff. Posh Spice will no doubt want in on that too. She’s already crafting an “aggressive” marketing campaign for this blog which everyone who’s read it (my family and friends… yeah, biased much?!) thinks it’s funny. They’re obviously very concerned with what goes on in the quagmire of unquantifiable craziness (I couldn’t think of a “q” word for insanity but I think I still captured the alliterative effect) of my brain. Posh Spice has just landed in Tenerife with her lovely little family and I miss her already but as soon as she landed she messaged me. She is the best. I’m so glad she’s getting a holiday – she works so hard as a transponster. I do actually know what she does, she… nope, I don’t really understand it. She really got the smarts, that one.

Tom Hiddleston took ElsaDaughter and I out for lunch today in a nearby town and it was lurvely. A change is as good as a rest and all that jazz. I had a salad. Healthy! Ha, with a big dollop of goat’s cheese on top and fries on the side. And dessert. But it was Pavlova so it wasn’t too… ah, fuck it, stop trying to justify it Dotty. I fell a bit gunky now as I had to go straight to bed when we got back. I conked out. Boy, being normal is exhausting. But then I got up and re-entered the everyday. Now My Lady is downstairs making a plate of her famous sandwiches and I have treats beside me. But I did work out this morning. In the back garden. My Lady’s neighbours must think I’m a right loony. Well if the shoe fits… As I was planking Sven headbutted me and I have a fat lip. It bloody hurt. Sven and Ana wanted in on the bodyweight training: Sven being a bit too eager. I actually used Anna as a weight being short of usual equipment. It was hilarious. ElsaDaughter just fell off My Lady’s bed. I should stop and help but this blog won’t blog itself. And it’s funny. Sven and Anna have taken over the bed now that ElsaDaughter’s on the floor. Where are my sandwiches?

My Lady, the Queen’s Mother sorted loads of practicalities out for me today. I truly am living in a bubble of maternal protection at the moment. The most stressful thing I have to do is shower and dress myself – that can be a more effort than you’d imagine – oh, and I did have to hang out the laundry this morning. But I love hanging out laundry. There’s something so resilient and hopeful about it. No modcons; no man made power required; just the fresh nothingness that the mothers of our generation have relied upon for centuries to send themselves, their men and children out into the world wearing a clean shirt having scrubbed off the grime of the human struggle to face another day. Women. Oh, the women. The women of my family have always been gluey and permanent – they always hold everything together. They each need and deserve an episode all to themselves. I haven’t even touched on Miss Marple – my grandmother, god I love that woman.

Tomorrow will be busy. There are decisions to be made: about school and college. I miss my kids. I miss them so. I miss the faces that call into me to say hello (and raid my treat jar) and those who need a helping hand. (The plate of sandwiches has arrived! Type faster!) I hope for so much more for them than they hope for themselves. I hope they know they’re my little daisies: unexpected little buds of brightness on a gloomy day.
I think this is my shortest post. I feel ok today, despite the 3 hour nap dip, but I’m ok. The real world is still looming but it’s becoming crisper and less muggy with the freshening autumn air. Bet I won’t be saying that when it’s pissing rain next week.

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