I’ve to be at Pieta in an hour. I don’t want to go. In fact I don’t know how to get out of bed. It’s like my body is a giant broken statue and I can’t shift its bulk. Despite a sleeping pill I woke twice, for three hours at a time. Now it’s twelve. I need to be at Pieta by one. I need a shower, badly. It’s cold in this house and I’ve had the sweats.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I such a lazy waste of space that I can’t even get out of bed to go to an appointment with a charity trying to help me? There are plenty others who need Pieta more. Mess, ungrateful mess.