Interlude – There’s An App For That

So I had this idea for an app. I can imagine My Lady exclaiming “Don’t tell them your idea, they might steal it!”, but the likelihood of me ever creating an app is pretty remote, similar to my chances of getting any sleep tonight, or this morning, or whenever the hell it is. I haven’t been able to figure out why Very Popular Flame Iconed Hook Up App won’t open on my phone for the last two months months (passes hours in harmless superficial “Nah”/”Mmm, yes please” fun) so my app creating talents remain untapped.

So… You’d take a photograph of each item of clothing, all the shoes and jewellery you own, upload them to let’s call it What To Wear (I can’t even think of imaginative names for apps) and it creates an outfit for you, saving you from standing in front of the open wardrobe at six in the morning with a blank look on your face seeing only a collection fabrics that are unfortunately not onesie material. But someone’s gone and done it. So ElsaDaughter tells me. Damn you, Techie People.

On that note, I was wondering if there’s anyone out there who’d like to pilfer my other idea, well one of them. There was also brainwave for a face and voice recognition application: you know when you hear someone being interviewed and you just know you’ve heard them before… Like Shazam but for BBC Radio Four and Newstalk listeners. The particular app I’m thinking of now is one that you can time to reach out of the screen with a giant boxing gloved hand and punch you in the side of the head to knock you out if you haven’t fallen asleep after six hours lying (laying? – I never know which: I should learn, being an English grad and all) in bed, or maybe sooner might make for a more effective alarm setting. Then when it’s time to get up, aforementioned ungloved hand reaches out once again but this time to pour a great big bucket of refreshing cold water over your previously thumped cranium, waking you up for a fully functioning day on an hour’s sleep.

Thank you, I’ll see you at next year’s Web Summit. Hopefully, I’ll have slept by then.


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