Interlude – Not Again, Please

This is not good. I’m just coming out of a panic attack. I’m finding it hard to type and breathe but I have to try focus on something. I tried calling Pieta and there’s no answer. Everyone’s in work. I don’t want to annoy them. I got ElsaDaughter to school and as soon as she got out of the car the tears came. I’m sweating. But shivering and shaking everything u stand up legs go and I have to go to the floor. I had a bad night of dreams and nightmares and sweats and I’m so tired. I just can’t can’t enough sleep. I’m trying to repeat “Everything is ok, it will pass”to myself. I can’t believe I’m back here and I don’t know why. I need someone but I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Dirty and weak and melting. Do I go to the doctor? Do I cop on and just get through it? Do I call someone? My Lady? First bus and fuss. My head is starting to throb. I want to be sick. The only thing that will focus me is to cut but I don’t want to be her, that girl. I want to be showered and dressed and in work and breathing.

3 comments

  1. therabbitholez · January 6, 2015

    Someine is here, all I can say is try to take deep breaths, I know I know your trying, but if possible sit in a quiet spot open a window, I know it’s cold, and focus on your breathing.

    When your calm enough call pieta again.

    Will check back later 🙂

    Like

    • dottyrocker · January 6, 2015

      I’m ok. When the worst was over I slept and I’m calm now. No idea where that came from but I’m alright now. You’re so sweet. X x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. therabbitholez · January 6, 2015

    Glad your feeling better 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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