Interlude – Bikini Body, Not Likely

I’m going to try keep my mind off having a bikini wax by writing.


Hot wax.

And she hasn’t even started yet. I’d much prefer to be having another massage. That was good this morning. She knew her muscles and had no problem repeating their names. Several times.

She said I was incredibly tight.
Eh, thanks? Oh, that’s not a compliment. Sorry.
Am I in a physical job?
Do I have small kids demanding to be lifted?
No. Thank god.
Do I spend a lot of time at a desk? Well, a bit…? I have two strong dogs. Oh, that’s probably why you’ve done damage.
I’ve done damage?
Yes, seems so. You should be getting physio on your right shoulder.

Ah, it’ll be grand. Like my knee. I said that’d be grand too. ACL? Ah, sure it couldn’t be that. It’s not that bad. Listen to me going up and down the stairs now.

Oh, me fucking knee.

Actually, this doesn’t hurt too much. Although she’s full of chat. Hate that.

Anyway, Leinster. Made hard work of that lads. Poor Ian. Shocker. Is Dave Kearney the new Luke Fitzgerald? Looked like a bad knock on his shoulder.

I guess I shouldn’t complain about waxing when I could have a dislocated shoulder.


I got a new dress in a pop up boutique. I think it’s a bit short but ElsaDaughter assures me I’m not too old for it. I feel guilty for spending my birthday money on a massage, a dress and a wax. That feels ridiculously indulgent. Bet I’ll regret it during the week.

I have warmth in my skin apparently. Must be those summers in Texas. Because naturally I’m blue, like most Irish women.

I’m not sure what My Lady has planned tonight. I’d be quite happy to have room service in my PJs but I guess I should make the effort to be sociable.

I’m tired. Sounds crazy when you’re on a relaxing weekend away but then I’m nearly always wrecked these days.

I feel a bit outside myself I guess. I think that’s survival mode for me. When I have to do things I leave my head. That allows me to be semi-sociable. I would really love to be going for a nap in the dark, but I’ll keep going. Fake it till I make it.

But all in all its been a better, calmer, week than last week. So that’s something.

Also, I attempted to try on two other dresses in the shop. I ripped the zip on one trying to get it over my arse. Remind me to run this week. #runfatbitchrun

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