So I got nominated for this award. I would like to be better at becoming part of the online blogging community but I’m somewhat removed from it, as I am from real life social circles. I think I’m meant to nominate other blogs and tell you seven things you don’t know about me but seeing as I’m a co star over sharer here, what’s left to disclose?
1. I love conjugating French verbs: I love working out tenses and agreements. Because I’m a nerd.
2. My grandad told me I was bought in a local bakery because he did know what to tell me when I asked where I came from.
3. My knees hyperextend so I can curve them backwards and this is why they are fucked (plus years of road running and being careless) and they crack going up and down stairs.
4. I have an obsessive fear of weeing my bed having done it a few times as a kid after a crazy woman came beating at my bedroom window down in the early hours of Hallowe’en screaming that her husband had a knife and was trying to rape her. I have to get up to pee several times before I can sleep.
5. If I could have any car it would be a big Fuck Off Out Of My Way Range Rover and I’d drive it up the mountains like the Queen. I really want to do some sort of four wheel driving course. I think I’d be awesome.
6. I have three large birth marks on my thigh that my mother is convinced is not a birthmark but permanent bruises from me kicking against a peg on my navel while a newborn in an incubator (there was something wrong with my stomach – there still is: it always wants food).
7. I’m pretty sure I was born into the wrong era and should have been a trailblazing suffragette or a warrior queen like Lagertha.
This is the blog of the kind woman who nominated me.
Read it. Now.