Episode 2-73 – Ophelia Coughs 

Here I am, awake and shit at four am. Also swearing which I’m not supposed to be doing during Lent. Maybe I just gave up saying “bad” words and typing them is excusable under Lenten curse regulations. Who decides which words are bad? I might be displaying my etymological ignorance but why is c*** – I can’t even bring myself to type it – so taboo and vagina isn’t? Or “prick”? Why’s it ok to call someone a prick but not a C-word? Is it because it’s somehow more sacred or is there a reference I’m missing?

 Someone call an etymologist. 

I’d love not to be sick. I’m writing this from my death bed. That may be a slight exaggeration, although two hours ago, before copious amounts of Ibuprofen and Paracetamol kicked in, I did think it might be time to draft my will. Then I remembered I have nothing to bequeath to anyone except the dogs and my knitting and let’s face it, the dogs will eat the knitting; needles and all, before I drown in a pool of my own snot and phlegm (this dose is utterly disgusting) so if anyone wants one neutered-but-aggressive-towards-small-dogs-because-they’re-yappy-and-annoying whippet and one batshit-crazy-bin-obsessed-emotionally-needy-thinks-everywhere’s-a-toilet lab collie, please call me on 1800-WOMAN-FLU. 

Apart from being at death’s door, it’s been a good week. Playschool’s been positive; I’ve got a few things done with minimal I’m-Afraid-of-the-Whole-World drama and ElsaDaughter hasn’t been taken into care or collapsed from malnutrition. Lol jk. As if. An ample supply of blueberries and shortbread and she’s happy enough to hang on in there with ManicMama. 

“I can’t have a blueberry for a daughter!”

 I had to shriek that line in a production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as Mrs. Beauregard (did I spell that right?) about seventy five years ago. My accent came out as some odd Alabama stereotype which seems to be my default stoopid American accent whenever I’m in Texas, which is not Alabama. I’m sure that’s as bad as confusing English and Irish accents. Well, is anything as culturally faux pas as that? 

I really feel pretty good in my head. I’ve had fairly normal patterns and emotions. My reactions to annoying people and potentially stressful situations like you know, laundry – NIGHTMARE! – have been reasonable ones. I’ve had a few night sweats nights, one particularly uncomfortable, but nothing epic. The sad irony is that having made it through such a traumatic six months (has it really been so long this time?), I’m now halted in my tracks by the common cold. Unfortunately, having a high tolerance for painkillers and other (legal, I must stress) pharmaceuticals (I wonder how I built up that resistance?) I must suffer the slings and arrows of viral gunge. 

If you don’t hear from me again just know, it wasn’t the depression/BPD/delayed onset PTSD/suicide ideation/chronic anxiety that got me in the end. It was the head cold. 



  1. Karen Van Benschoten · February 28, 2015

    Isn’t interesting that it’s the most ordinary things (a cold) that can knock us over. For me, unfortunately, Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD are running rampant throughout my mind and my emotions. This week I was instructed to draw a teddy bear, then label each limb with the name of someone who loves me. (Hmm) Also, my family grew up in Upstate NY. My brother met his wife (from Alabama) in the Air Force, while stationed in Texas. They now live in Texas, so the lingo from my sister-in-law can be sometimes difficult for me to understand, and I guess that my new, midwest accent, is not quite as interesting as hers is.

    Liked by 1 person

    • dottyrocker · March 4, 2015

      How are you doing Karen? I often think of you.


      • Karen Van Benschoten · March 5, 2015

        I am doing ok. Looking into a place called ‘Freedom Farm For Vets’. I am a veteran. and I am disabled, but not due to military service, and I was told about this place today. It might turn out to be a place where I can get out and enjoy the fresh air, and get horse poop on my wheels!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. therabbitholez · February 28, 2015

    Hello:) feel better soon:)

    Liked by 1 person

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