I was absolutely appalled to read that Pope Francis the Seven Hundred and Forty Second (popes have been around since the beginning of time two thousand years ago) is going to let ordinary priests absolve the mortal sins of dirty hussies who kill their unborn babies. This… libertine… disguised as a man of god (I love how autocorrect insists on giving “god” a capital letter) has decreed that the divine power of forgiving these child murderering whores, usually reserved for bishops and other specially appointed holy MEN, appointed by other holy MEN, shall be extended to the “MEN of mercy” sent out by the MAN from del Monte, I mean the Vatican, in lent of “Holy Year”, which is next year. Why next year will be holier than this year nobody knows. But it will be, the pope said so.
Read the shocking announcement here (if you dare):
What is the Catholic Church coming to? Next thing you know the Iona Institute will be throwing “hag” (hen + stag = hag) parties for same sex couples; Paraguay will be allowing raped ten year old girls to terminate pregnancies and have a chance at rebuilding their lives; missionaries in Africa will be providing free condoms with every communion wafer and there will be a collective confession that the church is, in fact, made up of frustrated, self righteous, misogynist bastards. Poor priests, they must be awful lonely in those big houses with the jealous homeless people and struggling young families judging them.
Never in all my mass going Sundays did I think my Ireland would entertain the idea of two men, or worse, two women – it’s always the women, you know – being married. Jesus would never have even considered the notion that everyone is equal and deserves the same opportunity for love, family and happiness. He knew marriage was only for making babies – although I’m not sure how he knew that seeing as his mam was a pure, unsullied virgin (not many of those to be found around Dublin these days) and he managed to resist the one filthy slut he ever met. That Mary Magdalene, giving laundries all over Ireland a bad name.
Personally, I think slutshaming should be on the Leaving Cert course seeing as it’s one of our main national pastimes, along with begrudgery.
Speaking of Dublin, a baby girl was found abandoned in a park today. Another “crisis” pregnancy I suppose. Are we not insisting on abstinence in sex education in our schools? Our daughters need more religion classes, not science education where they learn about, sssssh, penises and vaginas or these SPHE classes where lay teachers (bring back the Christian Brothers and nuns, I say) openly discuss sexuality and relationships. The only relationship young people in this country today need is the one where they’re down on their knees praying to St. Anthony to find their lost morals.
You’ll need a priest after you read this. Women of Ireland Still Abandoning Babies – Why?
Then, and I nearly died when I read this (“I might as well be living in a Protestant country”, I thought to myself as I reached for the holy water that oul bitch next door bought me in Lourdes last month, she paid to have a mass said for me too, she bragged):
That foreign doctor might be a queer but at least he put her in her place although, if you ask me (which nobody ever does), she and her like should be locked up in a Victorian institution for life by the ghost of Archbishop John Charles McQuaid and the key buried with deV. Great men, Lord have mercy on them. Repeal the Eighth indeed. I know what I’d repeal.
And to top it all off, two women have claimed that they were assaulted by a man they went on a date with! Sure, what did they expect? They agree to meet a stranger from the Internet and he attacks them. Women like that are asking for it. Probably wearing next to nothing and sure if you’re on a date, it’s not rape, you’re just a slapper, right?
Honest to god, vote NO, like that lovely young couple in the photo are going to.
Snotty Mocker 👼🏼