If you haven’t read my previous upload: The Don Draper Club from one of my guest editors, get on that now.
In the meantime, I’m feeling a bit… unsettled. I’m not totally sure why as I’m in London with my lovely cousin, the Marchioness, and I’ve had a great time with Scandi and her big sister who also needs a new blog name but I can’t decide on one as yet.
I’ve been tired which could be because I’m getting too much sleep here or it could just be because London is fucking chaotically enormous and crowds can be draining. I love cities; I love the sheer mass of life and living that happens anonymously in cities but London has overwhelmed me a bit and Dublin seems like a sanctuary compared to it, albeit a less interesting haven sometimes.
I am, of course, also stressed because London is so expensive – I had no idea how much I would be spending here. Even living in Dublin hasn’t prepared me for this. That’s incredibly naive of me, I know, but the money I had allowed was quickly gone (my most extravagant item purchase was a £6 tea strainer shaped like a tea pot) and now the funds set aside for bills going out of my account tomorrow has been wiped out. I’m so tired of being broke. Somebody punch me in the face for being ungrateful and whiny, please? I’m not bringing up my child in poverty or under threat to our health and safety, I know. It’d just be nice to avoid financial induced panic attacks.
“Shouldn’t have gone to London then should you?”, I hear you smirk.
Also, I had a virtual spat via that omniscient social media site and it got to me. I may have thrown the first punch (so unlike me) – I accused someone of always finding fault in things (it was half meant as rugby banter), which was not a random insult picked out of the nasty side of my mind but something I had noticed and had found depressing on previous occasions but the response was out of all proportion, first publicly and then privately. Apparently, I should form my own opinions and not follow the populist view all the time. The condescension in the tone knocked me sideways because I thought this person would at least respect my brain. This individual barely knows me and granted, I may have been quick to bring their negativity to attention and I am sorry for that, but I couldn’t help thinking that there was more to it than my quip and the torrent of communication that followed proved that. I felt like a silly little woman who had been sat down by a sensible, wise man and told off for my mindless credulity and it really pissed me off. Bottom line is, sometimes, you have to cut certain people and things out of your life because keeping them in it adds nothing and makes you bitchy. And I’d rather not be a bitch anymore.
I’ve also missed working out and I feel gross. The SaltScrub sweats are horrendous this week and I’m procrastinating about going to sleep because I’m dreading waking up in the middle of the night shivery and covered in icy slime.
I miss my dogs too.
I don’t know what’s missing (apart from the bill money…) but something is, I’m just not sure what it is.
The photo is my own (#proud) of The Shard and the Tower of London.