I am awesome.
I’m going to allow myself to say that tonight because well, I am.
I got up early after only a few hours’ sleep; I got to my Rape Crisis Centre appointment on time; I came home; walked my dogs; tidied up; wrote a lesson plan; taught a Speech and Drama class; got myself to the National Concert Hall; overcame my nerves; I was sociable and funny; I sang in a really lovely Christmas concert as a member of choir that counts Olivia O’Leary and Catherine McGuinness as members (bow to the feminist icons); made my daughter proud and properly enjoyed myself.
Also, that new man – I don’t have a name for him yet – came to the concert just to be there, to see and hear me: rushed from work in rainy Dublin Monday traffic to sit through a two hour classical concert on his own with the threat of meeting my family looming. Like, there are actually guys who do that and don’t expect anything in return? No sex; no emotional debt; no payback potential? We had a post-concert drink while I came down from my Hallelujah Chorus high and he dropped me home.
God knows, I’m sure I’ll find something wrong with him either before or after he finds out the thousand things wrong with me, but for tonight, I’m going to let myself soak up my own awesomeness.