… I try out a new counsellor who is not with the Rape Crisis Centre and I’m apprehensive.
When on the phone to her for an initial chat, I mentioned that I’d prefer to go on a day when the King was not in work in Dublin so that I’d have a safety net when I was done with her. She said that she hoped that I’d be in a stable state of mind when I left her and that I wouldn’t need the support – something which made me suspicious: a therapist who specialises in PTSD who thinks I should be ok after an hour of discussing all that shite. It’s my experience that one does not feel ready to face the world after revealing all one’s darkest moments to a stranger.
I haven’t been to counselling since we left Dublin, which is now a year ago, and that just drifted to an end as I couldn’t face the drive into the city centre for 9.30am on a Monday morning from North Wexford: commuter rush hour plus parking in Dublin can only be counterproductive for a counselling session which is meant to calm you down.
So I put it off and off and off and now here I am, at the point when I can’t put it off any longer.
At least the King is off tomorrow so he will be around to pick up the pieces of me should I fall apart. WHICH I WON’T.
Do you get anxious before your counselling appointments?